Ways that Destroy Queens

Victim to Victor – What destroys queens?

Let’s talk about the ways that destroy queens…. Proverb 31:3

Verse 3 – Don to give your strength to women, nor your ways to that which destroys kings.

This a fallen world, sometimes good things happen, and sometimes bad things happen. Things that are not fair, that hurt us, and even traumatize us. This reality is hard to swallow sometimes, personally, I can’t even wrap my head around it. With that stated there are legit times in which we are victims of the ills of this world. Some of us grew up in broken homes, homes full of dysfunction/instability, our trust betrayed, sexually violated, abused, or hated for the color of our skin, gender, age, or sexual orientation. These are all situations and circumstances that are very real and have very real long-lasting effects. But I have good news for you today it does not have to our lives, thoughts, feelings, or emotions. There is a man that died on the cross for the sins of the whole world so that we do not have to stay victims. Through Jesus the Messiah we have the power to crush and dominate those effects this broken world has on us and move from Victims to Victors.

Unfortunately, some of us have been so beaten down by life and circumstances that all we want to do is just give up and give in to the pressures of life and develop a victim mindset over time. This happened to me before. I was so through with life. Almost every area of my life at that time was falling apart. I look back and know it was the Holy Spirit that kept pushing me to search for the answers I seek.  The Holy Spirit kept pointing me to Jesus, through Jesus, I saw the Father’s heart. That is when I knew I had a choice; I did not have to stay in a victim mindset. I had a choice. The keyword is choice. None of us are stuck because we always have a choice. The choice is not always easy and clean-cut but there is always a choice.

Let us explore what a victim mindset is. There is no shaming, this is the sharing of knowledge and wisdom for application and change.

Staying in the victim mindset. This means we believe the lie the enemy has told us all our lives. I’m too dark, too light, too fat, too skinny, I’m not smart enough, no one understands me, I’m all alone, I’ll be alone for the rest of my life, no one loves me, no one really knows me, no one cares…. And so on. THESE ARE ALL LIES FROM THE PIT OF HELL. We need to send them back there express mail. The enemy sees our hurt and pain and uses it against us until we stop him in his tracks. The enemy hates us so much that he does not care about our age. He usually attacks us at our most vulnerable stage in life which is our childhood. God being so gracious made the human mind to be able to suppress or block out certain things that our young minds can’t handle. However, as we get older we start to recognize a record of negative thoughts and patterns in our life. We start to realize we were victimized by someone in some way. Then we see the record that was playing was the victim mindset. Well, we have to break that record and not allow it to go platinum.

Queens are destroyed from remaining a victim instead of moving to Victor!

Victim Mindset *

Ways that Destroy Queens

1.   Complains rather than act.

2.   Talks about the same problems over and over again

3.   Never able to get to a resolution

4.   Always looking for people to save you

5.   Does not accept responsibility

a.   Blame shifting

b.   No responsibility to change their circumstances

6.   Take more than they give

7.   Uncomfortable being emotionally well

8.   In crisis more than not.

9.   Makes people around them tired with the continuous drama

10.   Tend to harm others more than show mercy or the other extreme on the spectrum, a people pleaser.

Victor Mindset*

Ways that build up Queens

1.   Behaviorally active and moving towards hope. (Jesus)

2.   Willing to sacrifice whatever (biblically) is necessary for change.

3.   Willing to be uncomfortable for an extended period of time while moving towards change.

4.   Does not give in to fear.

5.   Willing to adapt to the reality they’re in; not the one you hope for.

6.   Learning from the circumstances you are in rather than denying them.

7.   Willing to use all your resources to move towards change.

8.   Actively seeking help to improve to be all that God has made us to be. (Divine Plan & Purpose)

9.   Resist panic and fear in the midst of unfavorable circumstances.

10.   Having and maintain a hope outside of yourself. (Jesus)

When I’m confused, don’t know what to do, which way to go, I choose God every time. With Him, we will come out a victor no matter what we go through because He has overcome the world. Throw that broken victim mindset record away and put on your garment of praise and adjust your crown, Queen you are victorious.

*Some of the information contained is from Patrick Doyle.